Christian Marriage Counseling is an exciting and challenging field of work. With seventeen years clinical experience in marital counseling I am more optimistic than ever. I have seen many couples overcome their problems, improve their marriage, and become better husbands, wives and parents – even in the midst of challenging life circumstances. Celebrating nearly two decades in my own marriage, I am keenly aware of the opportunities and trials marriage has to offer. Add children, parenting, work, home management, intimacy and communication to the mix, and there you have it – myriad opportunities for character growth, maturity and change!
Overall, I believe in the resilience of marriage – God gives us brilliant and resourceful ways to resolve many riddles and challenges facing our lives. There are times, however, when a couple or family face unexpected or unknown challenges and need outside help. There is no shame in counsel as Proverbs 11:14 reminds us: “Victory is assured with many advisers.”
Perhaps an unforeseen crisis or long-term problem needs resolution. Life transitions also place stress on a marriage – birth of a child, illness in the family, a job change or move, children going away to college – these events can challenge a couple’s ability to thrive. My job is to walk with couples and help them create positive movement and permanent change in their relationship. To grow deeper and more secure in their relationship with God and each other.
How I facilitate the Marriage Therapy process …
I use everything learned in my academic, clinical and personal experience to help couples optimize their marriage and realize their marital goals. Together we work hard, we have fun, we pray, we agonize, scrutinize, strategize and get the marriage back on a solid foundation. My reputation is one of hard work, common sense, figure out the truth and orchestrate solution-based strategies to achieve permanent change. There is no “cookie-cutter” approach to marital therapy. Experience has taught me to recognize some common and not-so-common patterns of behavior that can adversely affect a relationship. I am not afraid to use humor and laughter when appropriate – but not sarcasm. It is good to laugh in the midst of our struggles when we can! This is very different than “making light” of a situation, however.
Synopsis of my marriage philosophy:
When two people join together in marriage a “new creation” is formed. If invited and allowed, God actively becomes an intrinsic part of that marriage’s foundation. Becoming “one” involves more than joining two names together or forming a physical sexual union. Oneness involves the joining of spirit, soul and body. If any one of these core elements is missing the marriage relationship suffers.
Successful marriage environments are grounded in kindness, safety, and trust – all manifestations of genuine love. All marriages undergo changes and challenges from time to time, but couples who do not purposefully engage these opportunities run the risk of their love growing dim. Or worse, a cold, dying or dead marriage in one regard or another.
Highly effective marriages allow each person the freedom to be who you are within the safety and acceptance of a loving and committed relationship. This type of freedom requires maturity and trust — and work. Marriage must be sustained, protected and nurtured by acts of kindness and love. Genuine love is a living, dynamic force empowered by the grace of God; it must be activated to thrive. As a contemporary Christian song declares it, “Love is an action verb!”
Sometimes marriage requires sanctification and deep cleansing prayer to initiate forgiveness and restoration. This requires hard work, honesty, trust, and faith in God to do His part in the healing process. As couples let go of their defenses and learn to walk in God’s grace, they overcome many obstacles facing wholeness in their marriage. I welcome any individual or couple who wants to build or sanctify their marriage. Sometimes a couple is looking for major cleansing, renewal and change. Others seek help to create movement in a stable, yet “stale” marriage. Whatever the request or need, I am honored to offer my services in the Lord.
If you awaken to discover your marriage has become stale, or you are facing various trials, please call me to set a confidential appointment.
God bless you and your marriage. With God all things are possible!
“Remain alert, stand firm in your faith,
be courageous, be strong.
Let all that you do be done in love.”
_____ 1 Corinthians 16:13
Thomas Isaac Berscheid, MA, LMFT, LPC, Certified Life Coach
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When only one individual is willing or available to receive marital counseling, please click link to this article:
700 Twelve Oaks Center Drive, Suite 264 – Wayzata, MN 55391 Phone: 763-227-3431
Christian Counseling Marriage Minneapolis; Wayzata; Eden Prairie